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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?